simple yet unique
--Mary HAD a little lamb--
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
4:18 PM
Recently i kept on coming across stories / related regarding marriage. Like its all so werid, like someone up there is preparing me for it already.
Many many thoughts are racing through my mind. Physically, Psychological and finacially, i feel im not ready at all. Read ling's blog on why a lady shld have at least 30k b4 getting married, i did a metal calculation and im still far away from that target. Im probably not gonna reach that target until im 30.
My monthly income is jus nice and i mean jus nice to cover my expenses. 10% goes to church, 10% goes to mummy, 30% goes to food & transport, 10% goes to monthly fixed savings account, 10% goes go monthly birthdays / outings.. 10% goes to buying toiletries etc.. wateva left will go to my savings.. which i will end up spending it away by the end of the month. You may be thinking, i must be a spendthrift. Im a person hu will think twice about ordering a drink / dessert for lunch to save the dollar up, but at the same time im also a person who thinks buying an extra pair of shorts isnt too much. Frankly, is it too much a buy a face mask to pamper myself? Every month it jus so coincidence that theres something i should spend on. Taking last month for example, i had to spend 20% on textbooks and frens's 21st birthday party. It hurts to part with my money but i try to console myself that its for my own good / to make somebody happy. I feel bad when im not footing the bill when i go out for meals with my family sometimes.
Conclusion: I need more money making lobangs!
Suddenly people around me are starting to get married. It jus felt like ytd when we were still fooling around like typical ah lians. It did spur me a little to get hitched myself after looking at people's blissful wedding photos. But it really all boils down to am i ready anot? Am i ready to be somebody's wife? Am i ready to commit myself to more responsibility as someone's daughter-in-law cum mother cum maid?? Am i ready to leave the cosy nest my mum built for me?
I think the happiest time of my life, and probably everyone's life is when we are still kids. 2 more months i will have to shed the skin of my childhood and enter adulthood. Im not sure if i shld look forward to celebrating it at all. What is there happy to be about entering the stage of ur life when u will have more worries and burdens to bear? Looking at the faces of working adults on the mrt daily how many of them actually look joyful? Listening to the complaints my colleagues is facing daily regarding their kids, buying house.. Makes me really pessimistic about my own future.
Do i really wants to grow up?
Although i cant resist the nature aging process i am under going, i guess i can only gracefully accept it like everyone else. The only consolation i can give to myself is probably a young heart and face (there goes my pay again to more face masks. hahahaha)